Country #136: In search of Conejos and Koalas

This might sound strange but I've never really had much of an interest in going to Australia. As someone who wants to visit all the countries, I knew I would go eventually. It's not like the goal was to visit every country but Australia. Yet when I spent four glorious months in Fiji, it never crossed my mind to take the short 3.5 hr flight over. This is particularly telling when you consider the flight would have been free, my absolute favorite kind of flight. 

There are a number of reasons for this reluctance. 1. It is a vast country that demands a good amount of time and logistical planning to see properly.  2. It's expensive. 3. The main reason, which I know is petty and reductive, is that I have met some really shitty Australians. So much so that they put me off on an entire continent. 

And yet here I was, after 26 hours of traveling, landing in Sydney. How the hell did this happen? Short story, really. I wanted to see Bad Bunny's DtMF tour yet all my previous attempts had failed. I was unable to get tickets for his residency in Puerto Rico. I was dealing with a broken foot for the majority of his South American tour.  So it only made sense that when my sister text me that she had worked her connections and gotten me tix for his Sydney show, all those prior reservations fell away with a quickness. They had to, the show was nine days away and just getting to the convict country takes three days. Never before have I planned anything like this in such a short amount of time. 

I basically became one with my laptop and in the span of 48 hrs booked flights- both international and domestic, hostels, free walking tours and even a "sold out" day trip to feed wild dolphins. 

Fast forward to Sydney, the soon to be site of Bad Bunny's first ever concert in Australia. I had a total of ten days to work with and Benito's show was five days away. This meant I had to hit the ground running. I dropped off my bags and uber'ed straight to the Opera House. I walked around it. I took a ferry that sailed alongside it. I took a free walking tour that led us to various vantage points of said Opera House. Safe to say I covered the city's main highlight, but more on that in the next post.

That's because at 4am, I was back at the airport.  I had enough time for two cities if I timed it right and had to make a decision between Cairns and diving the Great Barrier Reef or Brisbane and the Irwin family zoo. It came down to my busted foot. It had been almost three months since I broke the 4th and 5th metatarsal on my left foot and while the recovery was progressing well, I was not sure how wearing fins and propelling myself at 20 meters below would go. I opted for Brisbane.

After the short flight, I checked into the fantastic YHA Brisbane and on the advice of the very helpful staff, made a beeline towards the water. The city is bisected by the Brisbane River, making it a major transportation thoroughfare. For the low price of 50 cents, you can jump on the City Cat ferry and cruise from one end to the other. 

I decided to treat it as a hop-on/ hop-off situation and made my first stop at the Brisbane Powerhouse, a funky warehouse -turned- arts center. The place was dripping with potential but it was 10:00am on a Tuesday, a time when any self-respecting artsy person is sleeping so instead, they had some kind of corporate event going on. 

Back to the boat. It was almost 11am but I had been traveling pretty much non-stop for over 48 hours so what was time? Next stop: Felon's Brewery. Let the day drinking begin.

It wasn't long before I decided, in my sleep deprived/ buzzed state that I needed to pet a koala. I was going to the Australia Zoo the following day but their animal encounters- where you get one on one time with the creature of your choice- were all booked up. Luckily, the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary had something called a Koala Moment at 2:00pm.

Lone Pine, founded in 1927, has the distinction of being the oldest and largest koala sanctuary in the world.

As soon as you walk in, you see row after row of the furry, lazy, possibly chlamydia-ridden Aussie ambassadors. 

They are simply adorable. I wanted to pet every single one of them but still had time before my "moment". I went to see the Raptor show, which was surprisingly impressive. Not only were the birds cool, the fact that they flew freely from trainer to trainer without making a run for it was mind-blowing. They either have it really good at the sanctuary or they have some deep avian Stockholm Syndrome going. 

I had read that you could purchase kangaroo food somewhere in the park, which seemed like a good way to make new friends so I set off looking for a kibble vendor. I asked one employee who gave me directions but added that these kangaroos were so chill, I could show up empty-handed and they would be ok with it.

He was right.

Finally, it was time to pet that koala. It used to be possible to cuddle a koala but studies have shown that it causes unnecessary stress for the animal so the sanctuary became the first place in Queensland to ban the practice in favor of supervised petting. It seems to be working. I may not know much about koala behavior but this particular guy seemed chill af, munching blissfully on eucalyptus leaves while I stroked his fur. In an ideal world, animals could live and thrive in the wild. But as their habitat becomes increasingly threatened, it is up to conservation groups to step in and help. If charging a couple of extra bucks to allow an activity that doesn't appear to be harming the animal leads to more money for conservation, I'm ok with that. And did I mention how soft he was?

That out of the way, it was time to return to the hostel and hit up their rooftop happy hour. That combined with dinner at an excellent nearby Mexican restaurant was exactly what I needed.  For the first time in way too many days, I was able to get a full night's sleep and it was glorious

It's a good thing too because the next morning, I was up and on a train to Beerwah, home of the Australia Zoo. It's about an hour from Brisbane and easily reached by public transit.

The zoo is world-famous due to the work of Steve Irwin aka The Crocodile Hunter. He died in a freak accident in 2006. Today the zoo, originally opened by his parents in 1970 as the Beerwah Reptile and Fauna Park, is as much a conservation-oriented zoo as it is a shrine to man himself. 

There are photos of him and his family, who still live on the zoo grounds, everywhere. The animal descriptions are written in such a way that you can clearly hear them in Steve's distinctive voice- think a lot of "crickey" and "what a beauty". 

The rest of the family is also well-represented. You want to see some of the most venomous snakes in the world? Then you simply must go to Robert’s Reptile House.

I don’t know why but my TikTok algorithm has decided lately that I’m a snake person and turned my feed into a non-stop playlist of snake rescue videos. Walking through this part of the zoo made me realize that TikTok may be onto something. I absolutely loved this area and could have happily stayed for hours.

Want to see free roaming lemurs? Then head on over to Bindi’s Island.

Looking to increase your chances of getting pooped on? Little Grace’s walk-through aviary may be just the place for you.

It is clear that they understand that people are coming to the zoo as much for the Irwins as they are for the animals.

I know I was personally hoping to see Robert dancing his way through the Crocoseum. That did not happen but I did have one special memorable encounter.

Much like the koala sanctuary, the zoo has a couple of areas where you can feed a kangaroo or two. Not knowing their disposition, I made it a point to buy some feed at one of the gift shops.

I should mention I had walked more in the past three days than I had in the past three months- not that big a feat when you consider that I was mostly bed-ridden for two of those months. By mid-day, my foot was really unhappy with my choices. When I went into the kangaroo enclosure, there were plenty of people gathered around the hungry marsupials. I didn’t have it in me to join them so I found a shady spot, away from the crowds, to sit and rest. I had been on the ground for maybe five minutes, when a lone kangaroo hopped over and sat down next to me, with what I interpreted as a “what you got for me” look on his face. I reached into my purse, pulled out the feed and for the next ten minutes, it was just me, my new pal and a couple of birds that chose to join the party.

Once the food was gone, so was the kangaroo but I was ok with that. I knew going in that he was in it for a good time, not a long time. Still one of the absolute highlights of my day.

Of course, you can’t have the house that the Crocodile Hunter built without checking out his co-stars. The really cool thing about it is that a couple of the crocs on display are the same ones that Steve Irwin himself worked with.

They sometimes even participate in the famous croc feeding show, which still takes place everyday.  I personally got to see Scrappa, son of Aggro, one of OG crocs. He is said to be the quickest, most unpredictable of the bunch. This might explain why the trainer seemed eager to stay as far away from him as possible. Good survival instinct but not very Irwin-like.

I don’t think you could call your establishment the Australia Zoo without an abundant koala population. They certainly didn’t disappoint.

There was even an area where you could pet a koala, even without the additional animal encounter package. Two days, two koala pets. I was on a roll. 

In addition to the resident koalas, there were several being treated at the park's animal hospital. It is a 24/7 facility, where people can bring injured wildlife. They are cared for and if possible, released back into the wild.

One of the first things they do upon arrival is test them for chlamydia, due to the fact that around 80-90% of the population is infected. While I was at the hospital, someone asked an attendant how they are contracting the disease. His response: “Same way as you and I, mate.”

That was the perfect response and this is, without question, the most perfect plaque.

This came about after John Oliver purchased Russell Crowe’s jockstrap from the movie Cinderella Man at an auction and sent it to the last remaining Blockbuster in Alaska. Crowe’s clapback is the stuff of legends.

There was no topping that, so I made my way back to the train station. My impression of the zoo was that it was extremely well run with all of the animals having plenty of room and appearing to be very well cared for. The nostalgia for Steve Irwin was definitely center stage. Were it being done by anyone other than his family, it could have seemed exploitative, but given their obvious dedication to continuing his conservation work, it comes off more as a fitting tribute.

That evening, I attended an excellent stand-up comedy show at a brewery that served in-house made veggie burgers. Rarely does a place combine all my sweet spots this effectively.

The next day was another early one. I had to catch a 7:30am ferry to the Tangalooma Island Resort on Moreton Island. During my frantic planning phase, I had learned of this place where wild dolphins would appear nightly looking for a snack. The story is that back in 1992, the resort noticed that the lights on their jetty were attracting fish. This in turn was attracting dolphins looking to eat those fish. A staff member took the opportunity to hand feed an adult female named Bella and thus an entire program was created. A group of researchers began to study the increasing number of dolphin visitors and developed strict guidelines that would both allow them to continue their research while making certain that the dolphins were not harmed and did not become dependent on the feedings.

Guests wanting to participate have two options. They can stay at the resort or they can book a day trip that includes the dolphin feeding. I had limited time and stays require a two night minimum so that wasn’t happening. The problem was that all the day trips were sold out for the duration of my stay in Brisbane. I was determined to feed a wild dolphin so I wrote to the resort directly with my predicament and lucky for me, they managed to get me in.

Once we arrived on the island, we were greeted and sorted by planned activities.

There were a couple of daytime options- sand dune sledding, atv rides or snorkeling a series of wrecks. Given the choice between desert and ocean, I’m generally going towards the water every time.

The Tangalooma wrecks are a group of 15 boats that were intentionally sunk to create a breakwater. Reefs ensued and today it is a major snorkeling destination. As part of my day trip package, I was signed up for a boat ride out to wrecks along with a guided tour. This last part proved to be a mistake. About half the group had never snorkeled before. One older man revealed at check in that he did not know how to swim. Aboard the boat, there was a lot of excited conversation taking place in Japanese. I can only imagine they were trying to figure who thought this was a good idea. Once we were in the water, there was nothing but flailing. Really so much flailing. I spend a large part of the tour just trying to steer clear of these people, lest I get knocked upside the head. 

Struggles aside, the water was pretty choppy and the visibility so-so but you could see how, under different circumstances, this could be excellent.

Once the snorkeling trip was done, there really wasn’t a whole lot to do at the resort. There was no music by the pools, no beach umbrellas on the beach, no real vibe of any kind. The day package included access to a VIP area, which was essentially a waiting room with a couple of sofas, chairs and a coffee machines. It was full of people just killing time by napping or playing cards. The fact that it began to rain didn’t help. 

I grabbed lunch and went to the bar to wait out the passing storm. It was then that it hit me that I had not gotten any notification to check in for my flight back to Sydney the next morning. That's weird. I went to Jetstar's website and was hit with the shocking realization that in my frenzied planning, I had booked my flight for the wrong month! Fuck. One pleading phone call to Jetstar and $300 later, I was able to get booked on a flight the next evening. That would still put me in Sydney the night before the concert.

If there was ever a time I needed to feed some dolphins, this was it. Once night fell, the pier lights came on. A couple of dolphins showed up, followed by a couple more. We were placed in line and the process was explained via crackling megaphones. Basically, you get one small fish and a guide leads you to your designated porpoise. You hand over your fish and quickly walk away. Unlike the koala, there is absolutely no petting allowed. The whole thing takes less than a minute.

It is without question a unique experience. Is it worth an entire day at a so-so resort? Maybe, if the weather were better or you had a lot of time in Brisbane. Otherwise, and I can't believe I'm saying this about feeding a wild dolphin, I'd give it a pass.

I did actually have more time in Brisbane than expected with my booking snafu. I now had a full extra day. I used it to take a free walking tour. 

The guide was enthusiastic and eager to show us why his city was better than Sydney. Based on the little I'd seen, I was inclined to agree.

But Bad Bunny wasn't coming to Brisbane so after a stop for a nicely named cider, I headed to the airport to finally catch my flight.

I'd checked my bag and made it all the way to my gate when I got the text. "We regret to inform you that your flight has been cancelled. Please make your way to the customer service counter." And it wasn't just the passengers on my flight getting that text. It seemed like the entire airport was staring at their phones, dumbfounded. I still don't know what happened but multiple flights were cancelled that evening. All you could hear in the long ass line was talk of missing el concierto. When it was finally my turn, I was nearly in tears, as I blurted out "I came from Miami!!  To see Bad Bunny!!!!! And now I'm going to miss him!!!!"

This kindest gate agent in the history of gate agents assured me that she was putting me on the earliest flight, that I would be there in time for the show, that it was going to be amazing and here's a voucher for a 5 star hotel in downtown and a food voucher and a phone number to call to get your $300 change fee back. I walked out of the airport in a stupor. 

View of Anzac Square from my room

In the span of one week, I'd decided to fly to Australia, planned the whole thing (with a fuck-up or two), pet two koalas, made a kangaroo buddy, fed a dolphin, met some not-dickish Australians and was now sitting in a luxury hotel with an aching foot. It was a lot to take in. But would that be enough if I didn't make it to el concierto?

To be continued...