Monday, April 24, 2017

What to do when you end up in the wrong Ontario.

Imagine hearing that you are going to spend a week in Manhattan and Ontario. That's great news! Springtime in NYC is like no other. Anytime spent in Canada with it's friendly people, hot Prime Minister and abundance of vegetarian restaurants (even the hot dog cart vendors always have veggie dogs!) is always a pleasure. Hell yeah! Now imagine you take a closer look at the fine print and things are not as they seem. You are actually going to Manhattan, Kansas and Ontario, California. Not so great. This was my life.  I was on a tour of places named after much cooler places.  To quote a friend "Where next? Paris, Texas?"

I tried to make the best of the situation. I found out that the next town over from Manhattan, Wamego, had a Wizard of Oz museum and winery. Even better, there was a silo that the military had build for missile testing which had gone on to become the site of the country's preeminent LSD manufacturing lab and now accepted visitors. Score, score and score!! Rental cars were prohibitively expensive so I looked into public transportation. Here is where the plans derailed fabulously. After calling the museum, I learned that there was indeed a shuttle that runs from Manhattan to Wamego. The catch is that you need to call at least 24 hours before to reserve this public bus (?!). The catch to the catch, try and find a reservation link or phone number on their site ...I dare you. I eventually found a number, called on Saturday to make a reservation for Monday and was told that I was too late because they do not take reservations on the weekend. I needed to reserve for Monday on Friday. I was told this by a person, not an automated system. The person who spent ten minutes explaining this bizzaro system to me could have probably jotted down my reservation in two minutes tops. Long story short, Kansas is weird and no matter how hard I tried, I could not get to Wamego. Part one of this journey was a bust.

Next up, Ontario, which is essentially a strip-mall laden suburb of LA. Options: I could take an hour long commute into LA and hit up my usual spots or I could look for something new to salvage this boondoggle. Option 2 sounded better. I stumbled across the idea of visiting Joshua Tree National Park and a plan was born.