In search of Dambo's

What is it about me and lists? As soon as someone mentions "Have you been to every.." or "Have you seen all the...?", then that becomes a thing that I must absolutely do or see. It's pathological, really. Don't believe me? How's about a list.

*Countries: It started innocently enough with someone asking how many countries I'd been to. Now, it's an obsessive quest that has me researching countries most sane people have never heard of. Current count: 135

*US States: Similar origin story to counting countries. This one had me recently dragging friends across the Dakotas to complete 50 out of 50. 

*US National Parks: Whoever came up with the National Parks passport knew exactly what they were doing. All those blank pages just waiting to be stamped speak to me. They've led me to convince a group of people that we need to rent a car and drive halfway around the island because there is a US National Park in Guam. Current count: 29

*Pokemon Go: "Gotta Catch 'Em All." What kind of slogan is that? An effective one, that's what it is. I may be one of the few people that still actively plays. I am, for sure, the only one who ran out of bed in the middle of the night in Saudi Arabia because there was a regionally exclusive Tropius a couple of blocks away. I'm happy to report I caught it. Current Pokedex count: 894

*FlashInvaders: I have a Parisian tour guide to thank for this one. I was already aware of Invader, a French street artist who places pixilated-looking mosaics all over the world. What I didn't know was that he had an app, Flashinvaders, where you get points for finding and photographing his work. I have since gone back to Rotterdam, Brussels and Paris for the specific purpose of finding Invaders. Current count: 196

This is a lot of work. Anytime I go somewhere new, I need to open the US Parks app, the Flashinvaders app and Pokemon Go, all before I even leave the hotel. Now, I need another site to my list. 

I was hanging with a friend when she asked me if I knew who Thomas Dambo was. The name didn't ring a bell. She explained that he is a Danish artist known for making massive troll sculptures out of recycled materials and placing them in them in perfect settings. She was in the process of finding them all with the help of a checklist on the handy troll map. 

Giant whimsical creatures, opportunities to visit new places and a list?! Say less. 

I didn't get far into my planning before I realized I already had one troll to my name. He was practically in my backyard. I remember coming across Joen and the Giant Beetle in Wynwood, probably shortly after his 2019 arrival.  He was a little off the beaten path but I made sure I always took visitors to see him. Over the years, like most Miami transplants, Joen suffered plenty of indignities. His car was stripped and trashed. Joen himself was covered head to giant toe in graffiti. Most likely a drug habit was acquired. But the worst has to be when I took a friend to see him last month and Joen was simply no more. RIP Joen...you were a good first troll. 

Fast forward to a recent visit to Raleigh, NC. I had an afternoon off and was looking for something to do. The closest National Park was too far, there were no Invaders or Pokemon to catch. What about a troll? I didn't know it at first but I had hit the Dambo jackpot. Dorothea Dix park was the home to five new trolls. Five!! They had just arrived in late October with the help of over 400 volunteers.

I raced out of my room on the best possible scavenger hunt. Once I got to the park, all I had to do was follow the crowd. The trolls were a hit. People were lined up to take photos with these adorable newcomers. The first one I saw was Dux.

Dux

Not wanting to randomly follow strangers all day, I asked where I could find the others. They pointed me to nearby Dax.

Dax

A five minute walk led me to me to baby Dix. I had seen someone post that a car was necessary to see all the trolls. It is most definitely not. 

Dix

Getting from him to the next one was probably the coolest part of the whole thing. You follow a 645 foot long tail, made of recycled Bourbon barrels, through the woods.

Eventually, you reach the reclining Grandmother Tree.

The Grandmother Tree

From Grandma, its just a short 13 minute walk to the final troll, Daddy Bird Eye.

Daddy Bird Eye

Finding five trolls so soon after discovering Thomas Dambo (or rediscovering since I knew the Miami troll, just not the artist) would have been plenty of adventure for one day but I was not done. 

As someone who enjoys taking public transportation and has zero sense of direction, it is not at all uncommon for me to get on the wrong bus/ train/ trolley. Sometimes it's the right one but going in the wrong direction. This is why, while on a bus that was supposed to take me back towards my airport hotel, I opened my map and saw I was going in the wrong direction, I assumed I screwed up. I approached the driver, told me him I was on the wrong bus and asked for the best way to get to the airport. He mumbled something that sounded alarmingly like "I missed the exit". Mind you, he was passing other exits as he said this.

This got the attention of other passengers, who started yelling "Hey Driver!! Where the fuck you going?" This was followed by "Driver, are you high?" and my personal favorite "Driver, this route doesn't even exist in the system!!"

For the next 40 minutes or so, this man whenever faced with the opportunity to course correct, went in the exact opposite direction. Every single time. It was truly remarkable.

From my seat, I could hear the dispatcher over the radio joining in on the "What the hell are you doing?" chorus. A visibly drunk man asked to be dropped off at the strip club. In the midst of all this chaos, the driver just pulled over and sat there. I was certain he was going to quit right then and there. The dispatcher piped in again, trying to explain in the greatest detail how to get back on his route while the driver responded with a series of increasingly aggrieved "Aw, geez!!"

I may have yelled "Dude, just use Google Maps! It's not that hard!!" Eventually, we got on a different highway heading in the right general direction. As we approached an exit, there was a scream from the dispatcher that was equal parts desperation and frustration "Exit now!! NOW!!!" He did and I managed to make it back to my hotel with minutes to spare before having to run to catch a flight.

To think, if I hadn't added the hunt for trolls to my many lists, I would have missed all that...