How I almost missed out on the Tiger's Nest Monastery

How was it possible that I was in the most peaceful, beatific land I'd ever stepped foot upon and it was at that precise moment that my body chose violence? It began slowly at first. On the drive from Punakha back to Paro, my stomach began launching some minor complaints. I was too busy taking in the glorious scenery to really give it any attention. As it stands, I'm pretty lucky when it comes to digestive issues. I'm happy to eat any vegetarian food that comes my way, whether it is from a proper restaurant or a roadside stand. Unless I'm in the most developing of developing nations, I'm good with the tap water and yet I very rarely get sick. Surely whatever was happening would pass.

Once we arrived in Paro, we stopped at the National Museum of Bhutan, housed in a 1649 watchtower. Photography inside was not permitted, which is the norm for temples and monasteries, but seemed unusual for a museum. The collection was pretty diverse, covering things such as national dress, the nation's flora and fauna, the royal family and lots of religious art. After a while, I was feeling a bit tired but still hanging in there. 

 

I had no problem continuing on to the Rinpung Dzong, the "fortess of heap of jewels". As with the two prior Dzongs we'd visited, it was a combination monastery and administrative building. It was my third day in Bhutan yet I was still as awed by the Bhutanese architecture and artwork as I had been on day one. I feel like I could stay there months and feel the same way.

I wasn't getting better but I wasn't getting worse. I opted to take it easy and just have a bowl of rice for dinner. What I wasn't willing to skip was a visit to the country's first craft brewery, Namgay Artisanal Brewing. I had read about it while researching the country and from early on, had asked that it be added to the tour itinerary. They use traditional Bhutanese ingredients including the ever-present red rice

Joined by Nawang and Ugyen, who were in jeans instead of their traditional clothes for the first time since I met them, we were finally enjoying a night out on the town. We sampled all the beers before hitting a busy karaoke spot. As best as I could tell, most of the nightlife in Paro revolves around karaoke. It was also the first time I felt we had stepped off the tourist trail and I was loving this slice of daily life. Ugyen was a master of the mike, singing song after song.  I did truly want to join in but the phonetics of the written Bhutanese lyrics wildly escaped me. 

We called it a night pretty early since the next morning was the highlight of the tour, a three hour hike to the Tiger's Nest Temple. I went to sleep happy and excited about what was to come. And then it happened. Sometime around 2am, I was awakened by the certainty that something was wrong. I made a mad dash to the bathroom, arriving just in time to put Bhutanese plumbing to its most rigorous test. To use the word "explosive" would be a definite understatement. This was repeated at 2:15, 2:30, 2:45...you get the idea. By 5am, I was spent and miserable. How could I possibly survive a 3 hour anything, much less a hike with over 1000 ft elevation gain? I thought of cancelling the plans but kept coming back to the fact that this was probably my only chance to visit Bhutan's most famous landmark. 

It was Sunday morning so the hopes of finding an open pharmacy were pretty slim, although we did try. Fun fact: Had I called for a doctor, odds are good they would have studied in Cuba. Bhutanese citizens get free healthcare and education. If their prefered field isn't offered in Bhutan, the government pays for them to study abroad. There are no medical schools in the country, so future doctors are sent from one of the most orderly serene places to...Cuba!!  The level of culture shock those poor souls must experience is worthy of its own research paper. 

In the end, in a head to head battle. FOMO trumped diarrhea. I decided I was not going to miss the Tiger's Nest. I loaded my backpack with all the toilet paper I could fit and hoped for the best. 

The temple's origin story is that Guru Rinpoche, the 8th century holy man who brought Tibetan Buddhism to Bhutan flew to this very location on the back of a tigress. He remained there in a cave meditating for 3 years, 3 months, 3 days and 3 hours. In 1692, the temple was built right into the side of the hill to honor the occasion. 

What I wouldn't have given for a flying tiger Uber to transport me to the top. Instead, we joined both tourists and worshippers on the steep trail leading up to the famed temple. I knew that midway up the path, there was a restaurant with a viewpoint. That was my goal. If I could make it that far without shitting myself, I could see the Tiger's Nest, get a photo and get myself back to the safety of the hotel room. 

About two hours in- there was a lot of stopping due to the oxygen not actually working at that altitude- we reached the viewpoint. There it was. It was beautiful. It was majestic. It was far as fuck. You see the tiny structure directly above my head? That's the Tiger's Nest. 

There was no way I was stopping there. We continued, passing plenty of prayer flags and increasingly spectacular viewpoints. 

The closer we got, the more I was blown away by both the beauty and architectural achievement it must have taken to create this vision in the clouds. 

At one viewpoint, we met a 70 year old German man, who did not seem the least bit winded by this epic climb. In talking to him, I learned that his daughter lives directly across the street from me- like I'm looking at her building from the comfort of my sofa right now. How wild is that?

I'm happy to report that we made it all the way to the temple, which of course, did not allow photography. While worshippers handed over offerings of sweets, palm oil, incense and canned goods, I thought to myself "Ooh, Guru Rinpoche, do I have an offering for you, your holiness. Don't know how much you are going to like it..." But no, my body cooperated and an international incident was avoided. 

Sadly that evening, we had to skip the farmhouse dinner that was on the itinerary, but the important thing is that I'd hiked the Tiger's Nest and had the photos to prove it. I remained sick for the next two weeks. Whatever got into my system had some staying power but thankfully I'd had 3 full healthy days to enjoy the unique beauty of country #127.