Country #116: La Bella Belarus

Four years ago, I was in Vilnius, Lithuania trying to plan out my day. Among the tours on offer was one to neighboring Belarus. In less than an hour, I could happily add a new country to my list. The problem- I had not realized this far enough in advance and did not have either the necessary visa or the time to get it. No Belarus for me.

Fast forward to 2019, the visa requirement has been lifted and conveniently, there is now a direct flight from Amsterdam to Minsk. I visited in August, when the weather was perfect and was admiring the blue skies while trying to talk to the cab driver who picked me up at the airport. With no common language between us, I was working off of google translate. As I did this, he kept saying "Russian". It was obvious I am not Russian, so that's probably not what he was trying to ask but I had no clue what he was getting at. I just smiled and kept typing away. When I handed him my phone, he went straight to the language selection mode and switched the translation from Belarusian to Russian.

Chto?? I've got my passport stamp, I am fairly certain I am in fact not in Russia. The problem is that Russia did spend decades controlling Belarus and during that time banned the use of Belarusian in schools and public institutions. In 1991, when the country became independent, efforts were made to revive it but with only an estimated 20% of the population able to speak fluently, it is now on the UNESCO list of endangered languages.

The relationship between the two countries is way too complex for me to figure out in a couple of days but there are reminders of it everywhere you look. You often hear about the war between Russia and Afghanistan but it was more involved than that. Over 30,000 Belarusians were sent into battle between 1979-1989. Over 1000 were killed or seriously wounded. Directly across the street from my hostel was a memorial, the Island of Tears, built to commemorate those men and the women who were left behind to suffer their loss. 

A little further along the river, there is a different monument, one to the excesses of American fast food, only this KFC looks just a bit different than most...

Crossing into the downtown area, I came across a festival celebrating all things Georgian (the country not the state). It extended over many blocks and featured loads of food & drinks stands, musical acts and a fair number of craft vendors. I felt really lucky to be there on Georgia festival day but later found out that these are a party people and every weekend is devoted to a festival celebrating some country or another.

Had I harbored any doubt as to their dedication to all things festive, the evening's pub crawl easily quashed them. We went from hipster underground club to wine bar to a karaoke spot where a group of young guys did a perfectly synchronized dance to a Russian song I've never heard before.

Meanwhile, the streets outside were busy with revellers of all ages.

Thankfully, things were a bit quieter the next day as I did a free walking tour, which covered the city's historic district. 

Holy Spirit Cathedral

What? You mean your city doesn't have a building dedicated year-round to the circus??

The Bolshoi Opera and Ballet Theater

This building houses the Stana Mini Museum showcasing miniature versions of national landmarks. At first glance, it looks like a typical Classical Greek-style building...

But when you look at the pediment, where you would normally find gods and muses, instead there are Russian figures.

Once the tour had ended, our guide suggested we go to Vasiliki for some local cuisine. As expected a place that proudly offers "assorted lard" was a bit challenging for a vegetarian. 

But I was able to order some potato pancakes and a giant salad, while deciding on my new rap name.

Yo, yo! It's your girl MC Po-Slutski coming at ya...

All this silliness was accomplished with a clear view to the old KGB headquarters across the street.

Where other former USSR countries have endeavored to erase their past, Minsk feels very comfortable embracing it.  After lunch I walked over to Independence Square. There in the middle of the action was Vlady Daddy himself, Lenin, standing proudly.

I continued to what would become my favorite part of the city. Oktyabrskaya Street is the epicenter of artsy hipster Minsk. The former industrial neighborhood is covered in murals and is home to many funky (and believe it or not vegetarian) restaurants and bars.

Oh wow, this guy again...

Os Gemeos work in the background.

The late setting sun allowed me to continue my explorations, this time to the city's oldest park. Founded in 1800, this massive green space was renamed Gorky Park 1936 in honor of the Soviet writer.

I was there to ride the ferris wheel and get a bird's eye view of the city without anymore walking.

But of course, there was more walking because I also wanted to get a closer look at a place that gets unjustly mentioned in many a "World's Ugliest Buildings" list. I had seen the National Library on my way from the airport into town but now wanted to get a closer look.

Obviously taste is subjective but I found this weird spaceship that happens to house 10 million books (one for each of Belarus' 10 million residents) to be pretty cool...and that was even before it got dark and the whole thing was lit up with LED lights (which I did not stick around for).

My visit to Belarus was a short one. On the third day, it was already time for me to head back to Amsterdam.  How best to use the day? Hire a driver to take me to a couple of castles and continue from there straight to the airport. 

First up, the UNESCO world heritage Mir Castle. The structure and the grounds were impressive. The interior, not so much. I mean it wasn't terrible but it wasn't very inspiring either.

Our next stop was much more to my liking. The Nesvizh Castle had a couple of things going for it. 

1. With its mix of baroque and renaissance architecture, it was clearly beautiful. 

2. It is set within a lovely park. Along the path, there are several vendors. One was displaying a rack of costumes. I wandered over to see what was going on and realized that for a small fee, you could don the costume of your choice and have them take your photo. I was in full tourist mode and had $3 to blow on a magnet so why not. We worked out the details via google translate (using Russian mode, of course) and a cute older woman helped get me into the many layers of the costume. At one point, she signalled for me to hold the hoops and skirts up so that they were not touching the ground. And with that, she took off! As in walking very briskly towards the castle. I looked over at the young kid manning the cash register who signalled that I should be following her. Chto now? But she was elbowing her way right through the middle of tour groups!!  And I was dressed like an asshole. But I was a little afraid of her and I had already paid the $3 so I burst through the group like one very fancy bull.

3. They describe non-alcoholic beer as "Beer is not beer". After the preceding interlude, this princess needed a drink.

4.  The castle was super photogenic both inside and out. 

In one room, they had a temporary exhibition displaying some incredible dolls. Most of my favorites were the work of Svetlana Fadeeva.

And of course, you can not leave a castle without checking out the royal apartments.

By this point, time was running out and I was still 2 hours from the airport so it was time to hang up my tiara.

With all the Stalinist architecture, the preference for the Russian language and the many Lenii, it was inevitable that I found myself comparing Minsk to a prior visit to Moscow and St Petersburg. For sure, there are plenty of similarities but the people of Minsk seemed much more joyful than the Russians. Mind you, you will die of old age waiting for a Belarusian to smile back at you on the bus, but I'm talking more about the ones I encountered at the festival and on the artsy street. This could all be situational (I was in Russia in the dead of winter when anyone can easily lose any joy they possess) or it could be a valid observation. Either way, one undeniable difference is that you can only fly into one of these countries without a visa and thanks to add, I now have my country #116.