Pokhara: Stunning views all day, every day

When it comes to tourism, Pokhara is arguably the most popular city in Nepal. This is thanks to the fact that it is a main starting (and ending) point for Nepal's top activity: trekking. I witnessed this first hand. It was impossible to walk into a hostel, bar or restaurant without encountering hippies in teva sandals comparing base camps, guides and trying to one-up each other re: hardships encountered on their treks. 

I, myself, am not a trekker. While I do love nature and being outdoors, I am not sure-footed enough to enjoy the whole going up and down steep slippery paths thing. I was in Pokhara because it promised to be a chill lakeside city with lots of non-trekking things to do.

Based on these expectations, I was initially a bit frustrated. For starters, fresh off another brutal bus ride, I couldn't find the damn lake. Pokhara is much larger than my two prior Nepalese cities and while the lake is certainly visible from some parts of the city, it is not as omnipresent as I'd imagined. Add to that, my initial efforts to find things to do were proving to be pretty fruitless. Actual conversation I had at a tour agency:

Me: Hi, what tours do you have tomorrow that don't involve trekking?

Agent: You can go hiking.

Me: That's just another word for trekking.

Agent: Uh... Maybe, you can just chill.

Nothing. He was literally giving me nothing.  It was enough for me to consider spending just one night and moving on to my next stop. But then I remembered the bus ride and decided to do a bit more research. I looked online and found a highlights city tour  that none of the agencies had mentioned.

It seemed odd that I could only find this tour online but even odder when I learned why. Apparently, there are two distinct and rarely intersecting travel ecosystems. There is the mostly white, hostel-staying, "You have to do the Annapurna Trek, dude" group that frequents the tour agencies along the main lake road. Then there are the mainly Indian/ Nepalese, we just want to take some selfies, eat some good food and chill, you can keep your mountain, thank you very much, contingent. My tour was  aimed squarely at the latter. As in, all the narration was in Hindi. 

Thankfully, the guide recognized that she had an infiltrator amongst her group and would occasionally walk over to me to give me a brief synopsis of what was going on. We were to visit 8 points of interest and since I had sprung for the deluxe package ($20 versus $11), she would be purchasing all the admission tickets for me. I am totally comfortable in saying those were the best $9 I ever spent. 

Our first stop was the Gupteshwor Mahadev cave, a sacred site much beloved by Hindu tourists. If you think its religious significance translates to a pious and solemn admission queue, think again. This was more an all out rugby scrum, with elbows flying willy-nilly. Lucky for me, the guide was little but she was mighty, squeezing her way to the front and coming out victorious with my entry ticket. This scene would  repeat itself at every single stop.

The cave is believed to be the longest in Nepal but since only a small portion is accessible, it's chief highlight is the small temple contained within. It is possible to get a glimpse of the nearby Devi's Falls from within the cave but a much better view can be had by crossing the street and going into the Falls complex itself.

In addition to the Falls, there are a couple of other attractions, including photo-friendly cutouts featuring traditional costumes. My guide was taking my photo when a curious thing happened. A guy from the group also wanted a photo, not just with the costumes but with me. This opened the photographic floodgates. There were maybe 25 people on our tour bus yet I swear I posed with at least 30 men, women and children. At every stop, they were lining up like this was the Magic Kingdom and I was Minnie Mouse. This happened to me a lot in India. I found it strange then and I find it strange now. I imagine somewhere, their friends are scrolling through Instagram, wondering who's this chick in all the pictures. 

Our next stop was Pumdikot and its giant Shiva statue. It's tough to compete with the amazing views of the mountains and Fewa Lake, yet Shiva manages to hold his own.

After a couple of minutes of not being asked for photos, I realized I did not see anyone from our group. I had lost our guide and the time to return to the bus had been only given in Hindi. Shit. I ran back to the bus, only to find it empty. Apparently, a time had been given but the group en masse had decided to ignore it and came back, most of them carrying ice cream, 30 minutes late. The more time I spent on this tour, the more I felt I belonged on the Nepali/ Indian tourism circuit.

We continued on to the Shati Stupa (or the World Peace Shrine) with yet another stunning view, which should really be their national motto. Nepal: Yet another stunning view. 

Stop 5: Mahendra cave, which had some smallish stalactites and stalagmites. This would normally be kind of impressive but I saw it as just somewhere I had to go on my way to stop 6. That's because our next stop promised bats. Lots and lots of bats. Enough bats that the whole thing is known as the Bat Cave (cue the Batman theme)!

As is befitting the kings of the castle, the cave is dark and damp. It is also absolutely covered with horseshoe bats. I know I have mentioned this before but I 💖 bats so hard. I was loving every second  just being in there. 

The cave itself is pretty slippery inside but the real challenge is the exit. There is a tiny hole that you can climb up to and do your best to slither out through. The belief is that only those without sin can fit through the opening. I'm going to go ahead and assume we went back out the entrance because of the school group causing a long line for the exit and not because the guide knew she had a bunch of heathens trailing behind her.

Either that or we had some people with fat bodies in our midst. 

Moving right along, we proceeded to the city's oldest temple, the Bindhyabasini Temple. We actually heard it before we saw it. Thanks to a wedding that was taking place at the time, there was a band marching its way up and down the street. They were jamming!! The thought of ditching the tour at this, the 7th stop and trying to crash a Nepali wedding did cross my mind but by this time, I had 25 new best friends to think of. 

One curious thing that I should have asked them about was the oversized bindis. The ubiquitous red dots, representing the third eye, are common in Hindu and Buddhist countries. Usually, they are small dabs of red paste. Not here, though. With all due respect, the beautiful bride looked like she had taken a handful of Smucker's strawberry jam to the forehead. At the airport, I saw bindis creeping past the hair line, with such a chunky texture that they were actively flaking off. The floor was littered with bindi droppings. Is the idea that the bigger the bindi, the holier the blessing?

Our 8th and final stop was Phewa Lake aka the lake in the lakeside town descriptors always attached to Pokhara. The same one that I expected to see the moment I stepped off the bus. Our guide, after a long day of wrangling cats (ie trying to get everyone back on the bus at something resembling the appointed time) and fighting for my entry tickets, pointed, said "there's the lake" and like a Vegas magician, simply vanished into thin air. 

I was about to do the same and say goodbye to my new buddies when someone handed me a life vest. They had hired a boat and decided that Minnie Mouse would be joining them. You don't get that kind of love on the western tour circuit!

After an initially rough start, my first full day in Pokhara had been a rousing success. The following day was Thanksgiving back home. Even in the most fantastic of places, it always sucks a bit to be away from family during the holidays. To make up for it, I decided to splurge and go parasailing. I'd done it once in Venezuela, loved it and figured it would be even better surrounded by the Himalayas.

It was ok. You drive up to a hill, wait along with a bunch of fellow parasailers and when it's your turn, do an awkward run off the hill, while attached to your instructor. As I mentioned earlier, there are no bad views in Nepal and soaring above it all, you are certainly guaranteed to get more than your share. But...it kind of felt like this area, flying above some rice paddies with no snow-capped mountains in sight was not the most ideal location for this particular adventure. The whole thing lasts about 15 minutes and at $94 isn't really the best bang for your buck. 

But I did get some cool photos and managed to cement my "most extra aunt" title with a Thanksgiving greeting video, so all in all, I've had worse afternoons. 

The prior day, while boating, I saw there was as temple situated in the middle of the lake. Since the rest of my day was free, I returned to check it out. It was small but charming and boasted some of the best real estate in town. 

Back on the mainland, I hit up a couple of lakeside bars, leading me to one of the more interesting mens' room signs I've come across.

Rs stands for Rupees, the local currency. So fellas, what's it gonna be? We paying for a short or long one?

Somewhere between the bar hopping and a pretty amazing sizzling tofu and mashed potatoes Thanksgiving dinner, the spirit of "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" kicked in. I had seen all the major sites in town, I had willingly run off of a hill, I had boated around the lake. Twice. The only thing left to do was to go trekking. 

                                            

No way was I doing the multi-day slogs I kept hearing about. The Australian base camp hike, clocking in at a couple of hours and widely considered to be one of the easier ones seemed like a good choice. So the next morning, I set off with a driver and guide to the starting point for my trek in the Himalayas. Yes, I was doing this. I was actually trekking in the damn Himalayas. 

First observation, the Nepali definition of "easy" and mine have zero convergence point. I can best assume that when they say a hike is easy, they mean that it doesn't require ropes, crampons or any kind of advanced climbing skills. Personally, I consider an easy hike to be one that doesn't have hundreds and hundreds of steps at 3,000+ feet elevation. 

While not technically difficult, nothing about this was easy. I was huffing and puffing like cigarette-addicted dragon on a runaway treadmill. I wasn't alone. There was a young, very fit looking couple alternating between being behind and ahead of us, as we took turns stopping to catch our breaths. 

Second observation. I had a totally mistaken notion of what a base camp was. I imagined it was the most basic of campgrounds, where trekkers would shiver like chihuahuas in their tents all night long. Maybe that is the case in some of the camps but not in this one. This was an adorable little town, with a number of hotels, stores and wifi better than you get at most airports. 

Had I known this, I would have signed up for the overnight option. This was the coolest mini-village. One of the bars even promised live music!!

Instead, we just grabbed a beer and hung out for awhile. The initial plan was to continue trekking to the next base camp and then back to the road. The guide, who had already determined that this was not a great idea, explained that we would be looking at the same view, just from a different angle.  Stunning as that view was, I was done with my trekking adventure. (Note: I should point out that when I researched it later, everyone else that offered this 2 base camp tour divided it into a two days, with an overnight at the Australian camp. Why the travel agent who knew I wanted an easy day thought to plan for both in one afternoon is beyond me.)

I wondered how this fully functioning town got their supplies. How are all that food, beer and souvenir t-shirts getting up those millions of little steps. On our way back down, I got my answer. Not only were sherpas lugging up multi-packs off toilet paper up to the camp, there was even a group of guys carting up major components of a brand new internet router. After seeing this, it would not surprise me if you told me you could get your Amazon deliveries up there. Spartan campsite, my ass. 

                                        

Back in town, I was regretting my choice to not spend the night at the Australian camp. Around the same time I got a text from the owner of the agency that put together the first day's tour. He had been repeatedly messaging me, offering his services. I suspect this was because he didn't get a whole lot of westerners and was looking to expand his reach. He suggested I take a tour to Sarangkot, a hilltop village, to watch the sunset. By this point in my travels, I had seen plenty of sunrises and sunsets and didn't want to pay $25 to see another one. He dropped the price to $20, I realized I had no other plans for the evening so Sarangkot, it was.

Blah, blah, blah...more amazing views....

But then the absolute highlight of time in Pokhara happened. Sitting atop this hill, I was firmly back on the Indian/ Nepali tourist track. I was sitting on a bench, having a beer, when a young girl approached and asked if I was by myself. It was clear that she had been sent over by a member of the multi-generational family that was gathered nearby. When I said I was, she grabbed my hand and led me over to the group.  I assumed it was one of the guys that had sent her over but as we hung out, it dawned on me that it may have been the matriarch of the group who had orchestrated this. I tried chatting with her but no matter how hard I tried, I could not get her to crack a smile. 

That is until someone decided to turn the party up a notch and turn on some music. The same little girl once again grabbed my hand and led me to the dance circle. I happily ceded control over to her. I had already joined in on some local dances in Bandipur, I could do this. Or at least I thought I could. The previously stoic matriarch took one look at my moves and began giggling uncontrollably. It was such pure joy from somewhere deep inside her. I playfully tried to defend myself, demanding we try salsa next, but inside I was absolutely delighted at this unexpected turn of events. No matter how cool an overnight at the base camp may have been, no way would it have been 'dance with a Nepalese family and make grandma laugh with total abandon' cool. 

                                             

It was enough to make me grateful I had not followed through on my initial idea to just ditch Pokhara. It was also a great reminder that sometimes you just need to look a little deeper. Sure, the trekking thing is not and will never be my scene, but the unexpected introduction into the local tourism scene had totally rocked and made my time in this backpacker haven truly unforgettable.